Chapter IX: On the Fence
(September 2004 - December 2004)
"When children behave in ways that schools or parents dislike, this behaviour is often characterised as an illness."
-Setting The World To Rights
At the same time that Zion was being harassed by his crazy ex-girl friend and being obsessive about his new girl friend, he also managed to have problems in plenty of other outrageous social situations.
Everything else around here is jackshit. My first complaint is one of the things I was happiest with was Fencing Club here at Amherst, where I was under the impression I would begin to take it over. The captain made my responsibilities quite clear, and was quite nice to me. Then I made the mistake of fencing him and defeating him in really outragous ways. I started by fleshing, (basically running at your opponent) helmet out and stabbing him while he hit me off-target and I had the right-of-way, (fencing is complicated... this worked better when I explained it to Ari.) Then I tried some saber moves that confused him, started jumping around, etc. I think he hates me now... this is not good... other part is only a couple people saw me trump him.
And it apparently wasn't just the team captain either. The coach was about to get in on the action as well.
I'm having problems in fencing, and if you respond quick enough I want your advice. I'm kicking everyone's ass, but as my fencing coach said, "You're fighting with terrible form." My take on this is that I have my own style which differs from the traditional, "get stabbed in the chest by someone more creative than you," style, but there's some difference in opinion there. Anyway, our club hired this professional coach, (whose qualifications I'm not sure on, but he's coached colleges for several years,) and he made it clear to me that I should do the footwork excercises with "proper form." (Before I would do things like drag my foot on certain moves to get more distance, as I had been taught in Denver.) Whatever, I agreed that I could practice that way.
So yesterday I'm fencing Tim, the third best in the club after myself and Paddy, and the coach sees me score a point and insults me. I do the exact same move again and score again. I then do that five more times. I think this made the coach mad, and probably frusterated Tim because the coach kept taking him aside to tell him how to counter the "stupid" move and Tim kept failing, (It can be countered, I just don't know how the coach was telling him to counter it.) Then, when all else failed, the coach asked me why I kept doing this "horrible form." I responded, "I don't know if it's horrible form, I've scored the last dozen hits." He then told me I had an "attitude problem" and I shut up because that's not the kind of thing I want with a coach.
After fencing I went and talked to the coach and apoligized and told him I wanted to show respect for him, and hoped he didn't take offense. He exploded at me, and told me I can't argue with him, that I don't have any style, and that I would get "crushed" at a tournament. He told me that if I wanted to stay in the club I had better start doing what he says, which is fighting with "proper form" right now, (which means I basically have to regress to only my first year of fencing training, imo.) He then said something very weird, which was that this wasn't him speaking, but that he was speaking for others in the club, and that he hated to be the bearer of bad news. He then left.
Um... need I say that sucks? I didn't believe this coach had any authority until he claimed right then he did, nor did I think anyone else in the club had a problem with me until he said they did. I hate sounding arrogant, but I also think he's wrong. If you score the hit you score the hit - no matter how. If I fold to his demands I'm going to fence horribly, maybe even lose within the club for the first time, and then go into a tournament and get my ass kicked. I do need to strengthen my fencing skills, but I need to strengthen my "terrible form" fencing skills: balance with difficult foot work, blade response, fleshing (running at my opponent,) in-fighting, and, if I get a chance, strategy against someone who actually knows something about strategy. I'll get to do none of this if I go with his demands.
On the other hand, if I don't do what he says could I seriously face expulsion from the club? I don't know - that was a new one. Also, before he came along I was being streamlined to take over the club for half of next year. Probably dash my hopes if he speaks out against me in front of the club. Not to mention that I obviously don't have anyone actually instructing me in that case, (which I'm humble enough to desire.) WTF should I do?
Not knowing anything about fencing but knowing it was something Zion had done for a very long time and beleived he was good at, I decided that Zion deserved the benefit of the doubt in this situation and perhaps it was this instructor who was actually just a wack job who just didn't want to put up with anyone who had a different style than him. I asked Zion what else he knew about this instructor and if he thought he could beat the instructor. The only advice I could give at that stage was that Zion should speak with the team captain again to have him either confirm or deny what the instructor was trying to claim about the whole club being aginst Zion.
Honestly I don't know if I can beat the instructor. In general, because of his experience, I'd say flat out no. However, he was evidently mostly a saber fencer, and we're fencing foil, and I haven't seen him get any fencing experience lately, so I could take a shot. He's also such a traditionalist that it would be plain fun to try a few moves against him. If he could counter some decent feints with a classical style I'd genuinely learn alot, even if I didn't win. Overall if I had to make a bet I'd say I'd lose, but that I could hold my own.
Another possibility is presented by the fact that this guy has switched between clubs basically every year. If I was the captain right now I'd ask the question, "Why?" He claimed he left Holyoke last year because they're under audit and can't issue contracts. Holyoke's flaming rich, so that doesn't add up completely for me. There's a notable chance here that he's not who he presents himself to be. Then again, perhaps he kicks ass and takes no prisoners. I think the part that frusterated me most was when he insulted my old instructors, three of which competed in the Olympics and one of whom won bronze. And what have you done, maestro?
Before I could reply to this email, Zion sent another that same day.
I talked to the captain, Padraic. What he told me is that fencing me was frusterating people because they felt they had no choice but to run and try not to get hit very hard. He said that the club, including himself, just wasn't up to the level where they knew how to counter that with a traditional style. He said that the coach, Jeff Lord, felt that the traditional style was superior, and that he was inclined to agree - even if he couldn't prove it. It turns out that Jeff Lord has tendeniatous right now, so he won't be able to prove it, either.
Paddy said he had talked to Jeff Lord the day before about all this, and agreed with his conclusion that if people faught me it would hurt their conventional style because they'd have to find ways to respond to me. My take on this is that I agree, but they have to be able to adapt and improvise. That's what we should be teaching them. At the end Paddy basically presented that he thought me switching styles would eventually help me, even though he had no proof and he admitted no one could beat me, (surprising humility - as in my last two matches I felt Paddy could definitely challenge and sometimes defeat me if he was just a bit more aggressive.)
At this point I asked Paddy if the traditional style is suppose to be able to counter mine could he do that? Paddy said he hoped he could. I asked him if I could continue to fence him in a normal style. Paddy said yes, for now, but that Jeff Lord would object to that, and that at the end of the day he was just another student.
WTF? Arrr!!! As far as I can see they're asking me to, "fence worse." ?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRR!!! Why?!? Also, Paddy seriously needs to have a self-esteem boost. I know the dynamics, at the end of the day, allow him to hire and fire Jeff Lord at will and run the club however the fuck he wants. Exactly what occured to make Paddy so damn unconfident?
As far as tournaments go, I think I would do great if I went to one right now. But I need to improve by fencing in my style. Regressing to the basics for a prolonged period of time will only make me less assured of my more complex skills, and hurt my balance. It will also retrain my instincts to go with the basics again, instead of with the proper, more advanced response moves. No harm comes from doing basics a bit, it could even be good for me, it's the long-term that I worry about. I asked Paddy if this is what he'd request all year, and Paddy said, "I think I would like to say yes, at this point."
This makes me mad, and unfortunately just isn't good enough. Don't know what to do about it, though. Logic appears to be on my side - but that isn't always enough.
These two emails confirmed that this instructor was in fact backing up what the club said. I couldn't offer any real advice on how Zion should react to this situation, so instead I tried to help in the only way I could think of. I looked up some backgound on this "Jeff Lord" fellow to see if his history was a sketchy as it sounded.
This was what I found.
I sent the above information back to Zion along with a few other links including one to his full resmue which was posted online for some reason at a different website. This was Zion's rely to that:
I haven't slept in awhile and I'm only going to get three hours so I'm going to make this brief, but I thought I'd shoot you back quick since you didn't write much on the fencing thing. I saw the Jeff Lord thing. On one hand, this is a *hell* of alot more impressive then the way he presented himself to the club. He pretty much told the club, "I taught for a couple years here, a couple years here, and a couple years here." All and all the presentation just made it seem a little sketchy as to why he kept switching places. He certainly never mentioned teaching somewhere for 13 years or achieving shodan. Who the fuck achieves shodan in both Kendo and Iaido? Man, this convinces me that he is God with a sword.
Then again, on the flip side, why the ommissions? Just humility? Why so much switching schools? Why, if he's so bloody great at Japanese fighting didn't he keep doing that? Here's a big one: the resume starts with his coaching record of european styles. Why doesn't it mention anything about him as a fencer, (with the european style,) or even say that he was one? Did he just materalize out of thin air with magical abilities of doom and somebody let him coach? Another thing; this guy looks like he's 30. I think someone asked him his age and he said 34 or something like that. Do the math: graduate college at 22. Coach for thirteen years and you're 35. Coach for two years at each Amherst (he taught here a decade ago,) and Smith and you're 39. You can't coach these teams at once because they compete against each other. Then two years in Japan and you're 41. This without the stagecraft thing or any break to what common people call a "job" or "way to make money to fund my trips to Japan." Doesn't quite add up. Maybe a few grades skipped... I just can't fudge the math right. Another thing: if this guy has done this much and is so great - then why the hell is he here teaching a fencing club that's not even part of the NCAA? Why isn't he at Stanford or Oxford, or at least Colorado University where they have an NCAA team?
On the face level, which may prove right, this guy is a flaming genius. No wonder he's so fucking arrogant, (but why so inflexible on style?) He deserves to be. On the other hand, this raises oh so many more questions than answers. At the least these questions seem to call his expertise into doubts. Thanks for the link, Raltar.
And if that wasn't all bad enough, Zion then had to deal with problems from his own sister!
Throw this one into the blender of college life: I'm planning to go to Israel this winter for ten days because it's free. That's right - completely free. I would go to most countries as a tourist for free. Anyway, the bitch about it is that I'd get back to Amherst with about a week and a half before school starts and everyone else gets back. So then I noticed that our Student Health Educators training was convinently located on my time slot of nothingness.
The SHE's are essentially sex-ed people, although they also cover college like topics like alcohol and drugs pretty extensively. I figure that I'm pretty qualified for this both from a personal and medical standpoint, so I decide to apply. They also pay you, and I find being paid to talk about sex a pretty good gig. I remember that I thought my sister was in a skit with them for my freshman orientation, so I shoot her an email asking if she can give me a recommendation. This is a competitive process, although it should be relatively easy for me because about 1,000 women and 5 men apply.
Anyway, turns out that she IS a SHE. Okay... even better... right? No, she turns into a total bitch and tells me that these are her group of friends and that she wants me just to apply next year. I argue the point that I essentially don't want to wait until next year, for a wide variety of reasons ranging from I want money to the fact most people join as freshman to my schedule. Also, I felt it was fundamentally my right to do this damn thing.
No such luck, she's been stern about this. Evidently there's only about 13 of them, so it would be quite conspicious if I applied w/o her support.
Of course, all of this is just a sample of the more interesting/dramatic problems Zion had. There were many more emails that weren't quoted here. And what worries me most is what he may not have said at all. I mean, if this was the stuff he was actually willing to admit to, then how bad must the stuff he didn't want to admit to be?
Eventually the end of 2004 started to roll around and I got these notes about the progress of the Golden Shields from Zion:
My question to you is whether you still wanted to write things for the Golden Shields on an irregular and not often basis like you said you probably would a few months ago. Things look like they'll be launched in late January/early February.
I recalled awhile back he had said he was planning to trick Jackson or Andre/Lucas into making the website for him. Still expecting THAT plan to fail, I asked if he was really serious about this website finally happening.
Yeah - it looks genuine. The slacker/idiot Jackson sent me an email that he had it done. His product is probably shit though. Lucas, who admittedly did not do superb work for GS before, says he has most of his product finished. My general plan was to wait for Lucas - who should have the product done before I'm back at school and ready to publish. Otherwise I'll check out what Jackson has for us.
Apparently Jackson did indeed manage to make a site and it even somehow got uploaded to the domain name at some point. The internet archive of goldenshields.com for November 29, 2004 has this rather "interesting" website posted:
And it seems that Zion was right, this is a shit website. Seems that Jackson was still just as clueless about computers as he was back when Zion tormented him on April Fool's day. Which is probably why the next time the archive visited the website Jackson's work had been replaced with a generic message indicating the page was in the process of being updated by someone else.
At the end of 2004 my email correspondence with Zion ended as it was time for me to begin heading back home again. In the chaos of packing, moving and dealing with some very unhelpful individuals that wanted me to go home but didn't want to help acheive that end, the whole process took quite a bit longer than nessary and during that time I had no access to the internet. Also during that time Zion would supposedly be busy on his trip to Israel for ten days that he mentioned in the same email as the problem with his sister. Then he would have the week and a half he mentioned before his classes would be starting again. I wouldn't have internet access until I was finally home again in Febuary of 2005, by which point I believed I would simply be able to call Zion on the phone and he would be back at Amherst and back in class by that time.
Boy was I in for a suprise.