Chapter V: Dungeon Siege
(January 2002 - June 2002)

"your inturpting my duping of wow gold iv got only like 3.1 million gold on every server"
-East, former Golden Shields member and huge cheater

I hacked my way through the entire single player game of Dungeon Siege before I tried out the online Multi-player version and instantly spotted a game which was very very easy to cheat at.

The first problem was that you could import your characters from the single player game onto the multi-player version. Now, that is a cool feature in theory and I hate to say it isn't, but if all else fails you could always cheat by importing a character who was powered up by cheating in the single player game. The next big issue was that they included tools with the game to edit the game and make your own levels, mods, etc. Again, this was a cool idea in theory, but this once again can be easily abused by anyone to modify the game to do all kinds of things it shouldn't be doing. It also didn't help that the developers included all these tools with the intention of allowing people to make levels but they forgot to include any way to actually PLAY any of the levels people might happen to make. So what exactly were we to do with tools to modify a game, but can't be used to make levels? Cheating is pretty much the only option left.

One of the most sought after items in the multi-player games was the +22 strength ring. You see, In Dungeon Siege there were only three stats and of the three strength was considered most important because it allowed you to equip better gear. Plus 22 strength sure sounds like allot but what made the rings even more rare and valuable was that they didn't exist. The most any ring could do was 11 and even that was nearly impossible to find because even those simply didn't spawn in the game unless you were fighting the most powerful monsters in the most dangerous dungeons on the hardest difficulty setting and even then it wasn't likely to happen. So in other words you had to cheat quite allot to make a +22 strength ring. Anyway, long story short, when I saw so damn many people asking how to get +22 strength rings I made it my mission to cheat the game to high hell and figure out how to make them.

By the time I had an inventory full of +22 strength rings Zion had gotten a copy of the game and was learning to cheat because he had his own plan. His idea was to black mail people into joining the guild by offering them hacked items like the +22 strength ring but only AFTER they had gone to our website and filled out an application to join the guild. I don't think Zion EVER actually played the single player game (and if he did I'm sure he only did it because he didn't want me to tell people he didn't) but it only took me a few days to teach him to cheat and he instantly was tricking noobs into joining the guild to get +22 strength rings. I still remember joining one game where some noob who thought he was tough with his new rings decided to attack me and quickly found out what real cheating was about. Zion also found out what real "being cussed the fuck out" was about in that game because I wasn't happy that he was recruiting such dumbasses.

This is what REAL Dungeon Siege cheating looks like!

By the time we were done cheating Dungeon Siege to high hell we had recruited over forty dumbass noobs. Now, speaking of dumbass noobs, this was how we recruited our worst leader ever. And that is saying quite allot because he was even worse than the one leader who turned out to be a spy. But now that I've said all of this, I think this as a good a place as any to list all of our leaders.

Zion- A.K.A. the total bum. I think I've said enough about Zion by now for you all to have gotten the point.

Alatar- ME, the original founder of the guild and the sarcastic, angry one who likes to complain about everyone else, even though he had to disappear for six months and only played Shadowbane for a week before canceling his account.

Zule/Vince- The other founding member of the guild. He helped me harass Zion for awhile and talk him out of dumb stuff once in awhile. Other than that I think the most interesting thing he ever did for the guild was that post on the off-topic forum about some guy who ate his own hand.

Luke/Moltar/Tansut- Luke changed his name on the forums so many times we had to tell him to knock it off. Luke is known to be the kind of guy who seems to be high even even when he isn't on drugs. He never played the game or, as far as I can remember, did anything productive. He did post on the forums more than most members, but his posts often had to be edited to remove offensive content. Nothing I can say can possibly explain what spending a day with Luke is like, its kind of like that Bevis and Butthead movie but more stupid.

This was one of the many offensive things Luke posted on the forums. I think he was the only reason we even had moderators.

Phylor- Phylor was our youngest member and, sadly, one of our best members ever. He was only, like, 12 or something when he joined the guild and his spelling was so bad we couldn't even tell what the hell he was talking about 90% of the time. But he posted on the forums more than anyone else but me and was actually enthusiastic about the guild. Hell, if Zion had been half the leader Phylor was I would be killing Lok-ri jackasses right now and not talking about how great my guild WAS.(NOTE: Phylor wanted a note added in at this point to remind everyone that he is no longer 12. He was 12 when he joined the guild, but he was 14 when SB actually came out. He is now 18.)

Nihil- At first Nihil seemed a bit like Phylor. Eager and active. He also had better spelling although he did act a bit dense at times. Something about him gave me the impression it was an act though. When I started doing random IP checks on all the guild members and comparing them to members of enemy guilds, I found evidence that Nihil was that "Relic" guy from Arcona who we had gotten into a major argument with all the way back in chapter 2. We gave Nihil a chance to prove his innocence or explain himself but he just denied everything and disappeared. I still wonder what the hell Relic was thinking sometimes, but the full version of the Relic story is quite a long tale in and of itself.

And last but not least... EAST- the leader we recruited through our hacking of Dungeon Siege. East was a 12 year old dumbass with terrible spelling like Phylor. Once he even tried to change his name to "Uggbash" because he was worried that some guys he had pissed off when he was cheating in DAOC would come after him but we had to stop him because we just couldn't allow a cave man to be a leader. But even all these things aren't what made him our worst leader. But how he horribly betrayed the guild will have to wait until the end of this story.

That is pretty much ends the story of how The Order of The Golden Shields cheated allot in Dungeon Siege to recruit stupid members. At the end I was even trying to make a mod to allow even the dumbest noob to cheat to high hell. But then they finally released a patch to allow people to use player created levels and end all the cheating. All that seemed to accomplish was making everyone quit the game. As far as I'm aware, nobody ever actually made a Dungeon Siege level. (Which might go a long way to explaining why many of the cool Multi-player features inculded in Dungeon Siege were not inculded in the sequel, but thats a whole other story right there.)

Go on to the Next Chapter: The "Grand" Alliance